TMI
by zeroseconds
Summary: Masako asks an innocent question and personal secrets get out... The men of SPR never thought girl talk could be so enlightening.
1. Too Much Information!

**Author's note:** I have absolutely no idea how and why this took over my brain. I just had to write it. DX Ayako is having way too much fun with teasing the girls.

**Warning:** Girl talk with adult and questionable subjects. EDIT: Some reviewers have reported death from just reading this.

* * *

**TMI**

"Do you shave?"

If it had been a conversation between two dudes, he wouldn't have thought much of it. Throughout the cases he became acquainted with his fellow males' bathroom habits, some of it he didn't dare to recall, but when it pertained to shaving he could tell that he had the most facial hair among the men, Lin followed him closely, if not shaved at least. Yasuhara was beginning to show, similar to the latter, while Naru and John were mysteriously absent from this. Either they barely shaved or the hair had yet to come. Anyway, usually guys don't bother with these kind of questions.

However, as he heard _Masako_ asking the question, his eyes went wide open as he sat up. Lin was resting on his back in his futon and John was reading his bible. Naru and Yasuhara were still awake as they were reading up for something on the case. The latter shot Takigawa, who shrugged, a brief look of surprise.

A confused voice came from the room they sided with.

"Wha, what did you say?"

A much shyer voice repeated.

"Mai, do you shave?"

"...Um, my armpits? Yes, I do."

Speaking of which, the walls were really thin, they could hear some muffled sounds of bed sheets, a stream of water pouring down and the brushing of teeth. Later, a door opened and someone entered. The guys didn't make any sounds because they had been busy with other things.

"Masako, you look red. What's wrong?" Ayako asked.

"It's nothing."

"Hòo? Nothing?"

"Well, Masako asked if I shaved my armpits before you came in," Mai mumbled almost inaudibly.

"Mai!" The girl called indignantly.

"That doesn't explain the blush across her face..." Ayako said, and then after a short pause she yelled all of sudden, "Wait, are you and Yasuhara planning to get it on with each other?!"

All guys simultaneously looked at Yasuhara with their own brands of _'what the hell?!' _look, without trying to make any sounds. Naru and Lin just... stared, John flushed a deep red with his eyes widened and Takigawa could barely contain his laughter. The embarrassed college student made some negating gestures to the other men.

They all heard Mai spitting out water and coughing loudly.

"Ma-Matsuzaki-san, not so loud!" Masako cried out.

"Yeah, someone could hear us!" Mai forced through her throat, and said, "What's with that question anyway?!"

"Don't worry. The guys are in room 14, and rooms 11 and 13 are empty!" Ayako declared.

They heard the girls sigh of relief, but Naru had the urge to facepalm at Matsuzaki's stupidity. If Mai was stupid, she surely got it from her _dear '_mum'. In fact, they roomed exactly next to each other, except there was a custom thin walling in the hallway, preventing them from knowing which rooms they were at. The hotel owner believed that the number 13 was an unlucky number, thus it was entirely left out from the count.

"Don't be daft, Mai. She was talking about pubic hair," she explained, but no response came, "Hey, why are you looking at me like that? I was right, ne Masako-chan?"

"Eh?"

"As for what I'd just said. Well, you know, girls usually shave their hair off in their private parts if they wanna sleep with a gu-"

"Matsuzaki-san, stop it! I wasn't planning to!" She interrupted.

"...'cause it make things easier," she finished.

"I don't want to hear anymore! This is so embarrassing."

Yasuhara fiercely nodded at his girlfriend's words. The older woman gave up.

"...what a prude."

Masako cleared her throat for a comeback.

"That is very strange thing to hear coming from you, miko-san."

"Hmpf!"

"It sounds like you're doing it all the time, Ayako," Mai laughed.

"Hey hey, only for hygienic reasons," Ayako insisted, "speaking of that, I really need to get myself shaved soon, it's growing in bushes. Hahahaha!"

_'Too much information, too much information, Ayako!'_ Takigawa mentally cried, and from the look of it the others thought the same thing. Both Yasuhara and Naru seemed unable to concentrate on the case's information files, John abruptly quit reading his daily devotional and Lin started to sleep on his side, facing the wall and hiding his ears in the blanket.

"Mai, you didn't answer the question."

"...I have to answer?"

"Well, I just gave my answer and it seems like Masako doesn't do it, so..."

Mai's reply was quick and concise.

"I do."

"Just as I thought," the medium said.

"Wha-what?"

"I thought I was seeing things last week..." She sounded stricken.

Ayako's excitement went through the roof.

"Masako, what did you see? Tell me tell me!"

"Why does that have to do with-"

"She didn't wear any underwear when I saw her at the office!" Masako blurted out.

At this point all guys went wide-eyed.

_'Holy-!'_ Takigawa thought, and he proceeded to put an ear against the wall, along with Yasuhara who had climbed out of his futon to hear more of these particularly enlightening stories on their female workers. Naru showed a mild disgust. John uncomfortably made strange muffled sounds from underneath his blanket. Lin appeared entirely asleep.

"Wha-whaaat?! Masako are you-" the girl reacted in shock.

"In this tiny miniskirt," Masako added, and called her out, "Mai! I never thought this would be your way of flirting. How crude!"

"F-flirting?! Excuse me!"

"Haha, so that's how girls nowadays try to get some attention."

"No, not me!" Masako defended.

"I wasn't talking about you, old woman!"

"Old woman?! Matsuzaki-san, you do realize-"

"Argh, shut up shut up everyone!"

Silence reigned for a short moment, before Ayako spoke up.

"Don't worry Mai, your secret is safe with us."

"If the others ever find out, I'll-I'll-" the girl sounded as if she almost teared up.

So it was true. The men were most shocked at her response.

"Even so, Naru doesn't realize it and I don't think he'll ever do with the way he is, so you're safe from being fired or whatever."

There were some affirming sounds from the younger girls.

"...wait, but what if he knows?"

_'He does now,' _Takigawa thought, while shedding a tear, and looked at the mentioned boy who didn't seem very keen on the gossiping.

"Eh?"

There were some pensive sounds.

"I bet he doesn't care."

"No. If he knows, he would definitely say something about it," the miko said.

More silence.

"Wait, what if he does know and cares and likes it, because with the panties out-of-the-way you're easily.. uh," Ayako frowned a little, hesitating a little in what she was about to say. "Um Mai, are you actually doing it with him?"

There were a loud gasps from the younger girls. All faces faltered in shock, except for Lin's who remained unseen. Takigawa Houshou's head turned sharply to the right facing Naru who grimaced at what the miko was proclaiming. _'What kind of reasoning is that!'_ the boss thought.

"No. NO. What the hell Ayako."

"Well. What kind of boss wouldn't give for a cute secretary wearing no panties?" The miko teased.

"That's so gross!" Masako exclaimed.

"If it was him, having sex in the office wouldn't get you reprimanded, you lucky girl!"

There was a howling laughter from the woman.

"I never thought...!" The young medium sounded horrified.

"It's not true at all! Oh my gosh you guys. Stop saying things like that-"

John and Yasuhara proceeded to prevent Takigawa from beating up Naru, who eyed the outraged monk cautiously without moving one inch.

"I never said it was true. It does explain why you're wearing no panties in the office, why else! It's not like you're fetching tea all day."

"Seriously, are you drunk or something?! You're saying weird things today!" Mai said angrily.

"Maybe! ...Sheesh, it was just a joke!"

The bantering wouldn't stop, and he had a long day ahead of him, so an ever annoyed Lin coughed very loudly all of sudden. He should have done so much earlier. The other guys froze at once, Naru hid himself under a blanket before shooting Lin an unseen glare, while Yasuhara and Takigawa returned to their futons.

"...did you just hear that?"

"Oh my..."

"Oh no... no no no, someone heard us."

"Damn it, lets just go to sleep, we need to get up early."

* * *

First thing Takigawa noticed when they woke up was that Naru refused to talk to Lin for some reason. Then he quickly caught on that Ayako had been right and at the same time wrong during her yapping, and it highly disturbed him, but he didn't even dare to bring it up with that certain person. Much less, beating him up.

When Masako and Mai entered the base, Yasuhara gave a kind smile to the first one, who returned the favor.

"Did my princess get her beauty sleep last night?" he left an exhausted impression.

"Good morning. Why yes, of course," she said with bags under her eyes.

"Morning everyone. Morning Naru," Mai said.

"Mai, make sure you dress properly. It's cold," Naru announced closing his eyes, as if it was the most normal thing to say. Takigawa heard it and shut his mouth with his hand holding back the laughter, looking away from the two.

"Uh sure," Mai looked at him and the monk oddly. Normally he didn't care about the way she dressed. "Um. Are we going outside?"

"No."

Takigawa snorted.

"Then why...?" she eyed the monk suspiciously. _'What's with Bou-san?!'_

Naru didn't say anything in return and his assistant scowled at his way of treating her.

"Hello everyone!"

Ayako had entered the scene. The monk rose up as he spotted her going over to Lin, to check up on the screens.

"Morning Lin, seen or heard anything interesting from last night?" Her voice was so deadpan, she couldn't possibly be talking about _that_. As if a blizzard entered the room all guys froze in their places. It took Lin completely out of concentration and he coughed very loudly, half-choking on the bread he just ate. Ayako raised a thin eyebrow.

"Guess not then."

Masako yelped as she recognized that cough, and her face turned maroon in front of everyone.

"Um.. Masako?" Mai asked.

Then the monk strode courageously up to the miko with his face straight and serious, while taking out something out of his pocket. She gave him a curious glance, but the glance quickly changed into something else as she noticed the razor in his hand.

"Yo," he said, "wanna borrow?"


	2. Thief!

**Author's Note:** Some of you brought various points up and it made me write an extra to the story, which should explain TMI (Too Much Information) in a whole. This is not chronological.

* * *

**Thief!**

Reportedly it took months for the Shibuya Psychic Research members to recover from the infamous "razor drama".

-.-

Ayako stared at the razor in his hand with her eyes snapped wide open, then snorted before an insane and awkward laughter ensued. However, when the monk kindheartedly joined in – they were the only two laughing - she slapped him across the face. _Hard._ Then she proceeded to do the same to _every_ other male in the room who listened in on them.

Fortunately for John, the exorcist had dismissed himself from the case early in the morning.

-.-

Humiliating. That was the only word she could describe the situation right now, but this took the cake:

_"Mai, make sure you dress properly."_

In other words Naru, of _all_ people, was telling her to wear her _panties_ in the office.

-.-

Naru nearly considered adding "wear your damned underwear in the office!" and "no flirting and no sex in the office!" to the job contract and let that girl and that man sign it. He had no reason to believe the miko was right, but Mai never flirted with him and the only other person who was available was Lin himself, who'd often have questionable sounds coming out of his room when he passed by.

He supposed he could add "the office is not a café!" as well to the contract, to avoid spilling of holy drinks on the ugly carpet and the breaking of his precious china teacups he had specially imported!

-.-

Lin didn't know why Naru never spoke to him after that incident, after all he should have no reason to be angry at him... right? He functioned well (better than the others if he could be allowed to believe that) and did his job properly.

Oh, but don't tell the boss he had a fairly great deal of porn on his computer.

-.-

Hara Masako was sitting down at the sofa in the main office – Naru refused to let her in his own – drinking the green tea the part-time worker had provided. Said girl was now standing on a chair to water some plants on top of a closet, and after having done that, Mai jumped off – her airy miniskirt didn't cover her up for a short moment.

The teacup elegantly slipped out of her hand and the hot tea promptly landed on her socks and sandals.

The medium had expected cute, pink panties.

-.-

Earlier that morning after Mai had a quick shower and removed her bikini line hair, then after drying herself with a towel she dressed herself, but stopped after she couldn't find any panties in the closet.

Oh right! She'd washed all of them yesterday and had them clipped on the laundry line outside! She had to be quick, Naru would kill her if she was late. There would be an informative gathering for a case starting in the upcoming weeks!

To her horror, she never found the panties there and she had no time to buy any on the way. Why did she have the ability to attract bad luck? She had to go out, like RIGHT NOW.

Then an idea crept in her head, and she truly wanted to dismiss it, but wearing trousers without any panties was extremely uncomfortable and she heard so many of the other high school girls did the same thing...

-.-

_Clip! Huff. Clip!_

In the middle of the night Mai had half woken up to the weird noises outside of her window and dismissed it as her imagination. It was that bastard's fault to have her _clipping_ too many files after all.

**The end?**

Note: google "Japanese Panty Thief".


	3. Guys, we have a problem!

I'm sorry for updating this absolutely ridiculous fanfic. Unfortunately I seem to have the habit of making one shots into a three shots, like I did with _Morbid Curiosity._ This time I'm not sure if it succeeds in being conclusive at all, but it's worth a shot.

**Guys, we have a problem!**

Takigawa had rounded up all of the guys in the front office of the SPR and overlooked the scene in front of him with a serious expression on his face. At his right side Yasuhara and John were sitting. The priest looked rather nervous and the university student looked slightly depressed. Yasuhara had recently broken up with his girlfriend and he was still not over the ordeal. On the left side he saw Lin occupying the other sofa with a laptop on his lap, and didn't seem to care much for what the monk had been planning to do.

The last person was sitting in the lone seat with a cup of tea in hand, but unlike the tall man his gaze never wavered from the monk who was standing on the opposite side.

"What is the ruckus for, Bousan?" The boss asked with an icy stare.

Normally, Takigawa would have been crept out by the scary glare the boy was giving him, but now he was too fired up to let it subdue him. No, he had something very important to discuss, and he would do it right here and now.

"Do you remember what day it is, Naru-bou?" he daringly asked.

The reactions from the other men could be neatly summarised as an expression of a memory that one didn't dare to recall, but Naru merely frowned.

"Oh, you couldn't have forgotten what happened last year, do you?" Takigawa said, "Please don't make me spell it out, _please_."

The boss rolled his eyes and with a voice that seemed to border on pure cynicism he said the following pain-inducing sentence.

"_Yo, wanna borrow."_

Taken by surprise by the 'Yo' part, Lin coughed, Yasuhara folded his arms in disapproval and John let out a little gasp. Takigawa cringed visibly. That damn brat sure knew how to rub salt in the wound, he thought.

"Thank you, Naru-bou... and thank you Lin," he said with a sigh, "At least we've got that out of the way."

"Bousan..." Naru impatiently said.

"Yes yes, I know."

The monk sat down on the floor.

"So well, you know, how after the razor incident, we never actually, actually we never did at all-"

"Bousan, stop tripping over your sentences," Naru interrupted.

"I know. I know!" he said, "So the problem is... they're wearing trousers."

The other three men frowned simultaneously.

"What?" Naru said.

"Oh _come on_ guys!" Takigawa yelled. "They've been wearing trousers for months!"

"Oh," Yasuhara said and looked down sadly.

Lin seemed to have understood his notion and sighed. "Takigawa-san. Women these days are free to wear whatever they want, trousers included."

"That's not the point! Mai hasn't worn a single skirt for an entire year for as long as I know! Surely you disapprove of that, Lin-san!" The monk cried out.

"Wha-what are you implying," Lin said, firmly holding onto his laptop, and pleaded with Naru, "Don't believe a word of what he's saying... I have no such interest..."

Naru sighed.

"Enough Lin, let's save that for another time," he said icily and looked at Takigawa entirely unamused. "Why must you raise such a trivial... problem in front of us all?"

The man smirked.

"So you do recognize it as a problem, huh, Naru-bou?"

Naru placed the tea cup back on the table, folded his arms and _waited_. The other guys were baffled at this gesture, but the monk rubbed his hands together. This was getting good.

"Let's face it guys," Takigawa continued, "We, the men of SPR, whether regular or irregular, have never apologized to the ladies as a collective entity. Ever since... the razor incident, we can hardly be called... gentlemen, and... the remnants of our ego can hardly be a called the pride of the so-called Shibuya Psychic Re-"

"You thought it was funny, Takigawa-san," Yasuhara interrupted. He was sitting hunched in his own seat. In the meanwhile, Lin watched Takigawa with scepticism, but the monk didn't let it faze him.

He said, "I did think it was funny at first, but! It turned out to be a great blow to the social relations that has befallen us within the sphere of-"

"Do you even know what those words mean, Bousan," Naru said frigidly.

Yasuhara sharply added, "If you think you weren't funny at all, then, could you kindly shut your-"

John suddenly stood up.

"Guys, please!"

All of them looked at the blonde man.

"Can we discuss the issue without angering each other, or trying to be funny?"

With the last the priest pointedly looked at Takigawa, who apologized quickly.

Yasuhara quietly said, "Masako-chan and I were getting along so well before the incident... I know it's partly my fault as well. Sorry about that."

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry," the monk earnestly said, and kept his head bowed.

"...I even asked her hand in marriage, but..."

Yasuhara turned his face away from them and covered his eyes with a hand. They all looked at the young man with such a compassion that one could even extract a single sign of it from Naru's normally expressionless face. Lin looked petrified, and exhaustedly let out a sigh. John placed a comforting hand on the student's shoulder.

"Thank you John, everyone."

Takigawa's face completely fell.

"I... I didn't know."

"It's not your fault, Takigawa-san, you couldn't have known."

"But I..."

"Please, let me be."

They all went quiet at that. No one quite knew how to console him and remained silent until Yasuhara took something out of his pocket. It was a small white box, and when he opened it, a single silver ring with a small shiny diamond could be seen. Naru guessed that if Takigawa wasn't already on his knees, he would have dropped on them and have attempted to sink through the floor to escape the depressing sight in front of them.

Nevertheless, it surprised him when the monk got on his feet and went to stand in front of grieving boy.

"I'm _so_ sorry," the monk said and hugged Yasuhara, who gave into the hug with heavy sobbing.

John wiped his own tears with a blue handkerchief and Lin placed his laptop away in an act of compassion.

"Fine."

Takigawa, Lin, John and Yasuhara simultaneously looked at the boss, who was obviously discomforted by the sight in front of him.

"What is your plan, Bousan?"

(o)~(o)

Hours later, Mai entered the office and found Naru sitting by the coffee table. She greeted him like she usually did and got little to no response. The girl left her bag near her desk, and found a stack of papers waiting to be filed. _Ugh_, she thought, and slowly worked her way through it. Mai didn't even notice when Naru got up from the couch, but when she did notice he had gone, she assumed he was in his private office.

She continued working on the paper stack, until a shadow cast over her.

"Mai."

Out of shock, she dropped her pen. Her boss was standing in front of her with a cup of tea.

What.

Naru placed the cup of tea in front of her and made a small smile.

That smile.

"For you," he said. This time his voice didn't have the harsh quality to it, but it sounded slightly warmer than usual. Without saying anything else he walked away and went inside his room.

Mai was completely captivated by this simple deed and all the while had her mouth dropped. She was unable to comprehend her boss's sudden kindness and melted into her chair.

(o)~(o)

A half hour later the chime rang when Ayako stepped into the office with her heels clacking against the floor of the office. Above the heels she wore skinny black pants and a tight fitting beige top. It could be called the true Matsuzaki Ayako style, not far from glamour and gloss, as her pink glittery fingernails indicated. This was in sheer contrast to the one who closely followed her. Masako slowly made her way into the office with a pair of blue jeans and a red tunic.

When they cast a glance over the office they found Mai sitting at the couch, looking out of the window and sighing. A lone teacup decorated the table in front of her. Apparently the girl didn't even notice them entering.

"Mai? What's wrong?" Masako called out.

Mai's head jerked to the side.

"Huh? Oh, it's you two."

The two women frowned.

"Hey, what's with that kind of greeting?" Ayako said, putting a hand on her hip.

"It's just..." She stopped midway sentence and blushed red until her ears. "Ahh! I can't say it!"

At this point, the two raced towards the other girl.

"Say it! Say it!" Ayako whispered harshly and grabbed her shoulder. "It's that Naru again, right?"

Mai sighed again.

"Come on, Mai," Masako urged. "Are you making progress?"

"Naru... he... he made me tea."

Masako gasped a little and hugged Mai, who giggled.

The woman looked a little disappointed.

"That's... all?"

Mai retorted.

"Ayako, this is a big thing! The only other time he did that was during the Urado case!"

Ayako didn't look convinced, so Mai added another reason.

"This time he made me tea for no reason at all!"

That got her attention.

"No reason at all?" she repeated, "Did he say anything to you?"

"Not really, just that it was meant for me... and, and he smiled."

Masako frowned a little at Ayako. They both thought the same. If Naru and Mai's relationship had hit the point where Naru serving Mai tea for no apparent reason was a big milestone, then it could be called rather... pitiful. However, both understood that Mai was hopelessly in love with her boss, even though he was a grade A jerk, and gave an encouraging pat on her shoulder in support.

Right at that moment, the door of Naru's office opened and he looked at them with the usual expressionless face. They had expected him to complain right away about the noise, but he simply turned around and headed for the kitchen. The three girls looked at each other with a frown. They sat down and waited while pondering over the young man's recent actions.

Naru appeared again from around the corner and that's when they were rendered speechless. Mai's expression fell when she saw the plate in his hands, Ayako didn't stop staring at the two steaming cups of tea on it and Masako widened her eyes when the boss placed them on the table.

"Thanks?" the woman said, slightly unsure. She was unable to read the boy's expression.

"Tha-Thank you," Masako stuttered out, also doubting how to take this scene, and had a sinking feeling when she saw Mai's white face.

Again, Naru left them by entering his own office again and Mai looked as if she was ready to burst into tears.

Before they could even react, another door went open and revealed Lin and John. With a straight face the tall man carried in a three tier cake stand filled with fruit and cakes. John was dressed like a waiter and brought in additional plates with sandwiches. It all looked very classy. To their surprise the men placed it on the table in front of the girls.

"Whoa guys! What's the meaning of this?" Ayako said.

Right at that moment the monk entered the living room with a large grey box in his hands and placed a cooling box on the floor.

"Okay, so I just wanted to tell you that we're really sorry about what happened a year ago. "

"So that's what it was all about..." Mai said, and suddenly noticed that even Naru had appeared in the room. His face was expressionless as usual.

An unamused Ayako sighed.

"You know, I was trying really hard to forget about it..."

Masako looked away, "It was emba-"

"Embarrassing, yes. It's the same for all of us. We were too cowardly to speak up or screwed it up by saying stupid things."

Ayako folded her arms and seemed satisfied. "Really is that so?"

Masako thought it was rather brave of them, but was missing one person and looked around.

"In short, we should have acted like real men and have apologized much earlier," Takigawa said, "So could you please go back to wearing skirts and dresses?"

The women all smiled bitterly. Actually, they had been boycotting skirts and dresses after the incident and had been waiting for the men to notice the change in wardrobe.

"You're such an idiot," Ayako said, and then turned to Mai to whisper. "See? I knew it would take them a year to notice."

Mai scowled.

"Yes, I am an idiot!" Takigawa said, and opened the cooling box, "But look what I got, it's - shaved ice!"

All of them were shocked. Out of all desserts, the monk had chosen _shaved_ ice?! However it looked tasty and expensive enough to get over the initial shock.

"You can't be serious," Ayako muttered as she stared into the box. "Well, I can't complain this time. Shaved ice happens to be one of my favourites."

The other girls agreed.

"It's nice that everyone is apologizing," Mai said, and sneaked a glance at the boss, "And I'll think I go back to skirts... I miss wearing them."

Masako nodded. "Kimono's are the best."

Takigawa rejoiced, and both Lin and John seemed very relieved. The young boss looked at the scene in front of them. That went quite well, he thought, but where was Yasuhara? Naru didn't need to wait any longer, because that person currently entered the room with a bouquet with flowers.

"Very well, now that we have gotten that out of the way, may I take the spotlight from you guys? Thank you."

There was a wide smile on his face, which was in deep contrast to the expressions he had been making several hours ago. Naru felt his heart sink a little, when he stared at the other men. Lin was obviously keeping his laughter in, the monk stuck a tongue out at him and John appeared somewhat apologetic, but highly amused.

With the small box in one hand and the bouquet in another, Yasuhara planted a knee in front of a shocked medium, who was sitting in between Ayako and Mai.

"Masako, will you marry me?" he earnestly asked.

(o)~(o)

"Enjoying the high tea, ladies?"

Yasuhara couldn't possibly look more smug when he said that. His plan had worked out very well.

"Afternoon tea," Naru corrected from behind the young man. The boss had quietly remained in front of the door of his office, while all the others talked loudly about wedding dresses and cakes… or simply dried their tears from happiness.

"Stop being a nitpick."

"You tricked me."

"Yes boss," he cheerfully said.

"Why here?" Naru asked with a sigh.

Yasuhara said, "I thought it was appropriate that I should propose where we met."

"Fair enough..." he said, and added, "Congratulations."

"Thanks boss!"

**THE END**


End file.
